昨天晚上整夜都在下雨，我躺在床上。轻风轻抚着我的背。这好舒服啊。晚上睡得甜甜的。
Yesterday night it rained the whole night, i was laying on my bed. Could feel breeze touching my back. It was soothing and healing. The night was good.
Woke up my routine time, had my meditation. Recently, I feel fear of uncertainties especially ☠️ death. I feel forever I am not to go off from this world. I have been interested to observe people viewpoint towards death since. It surprised me that some people don’t fear death. I am asking myself are they not worry about it or they think that death is still far from them. The reality is we never know, we might have lots of planning, to do, to enjoy, to see, to explore yet we have let down all these and passed on.
今早我醒了，进行了静坐。最近，我常感到害怕于不确定的事物。尤其是☠️死亡。不久前我想我永远都没有准備好离开这个世界。从那起，我一直很感兴趣观察人们对死亡的看法。令我惊讶的是，有些人不惧怕死亡。我问自己为什么他们不担心这个，还是认为死亡离他们还很遥远。现实是我们永远不知道，我们可能有大量的计划，要做的事情，要享受的，要看的，要探索的，但我们须要放下所有这些并在这世上消失。
I asked myself why I fear death. Apparently, I fear I have to go through the samsaric cycle again, I have to suffer being born again. Learn to walk again, study again, work to make a living again. Or will I be reborn in as a human or instead I will be reborn as ghost/peta, or hell beings. More suffering and lost myself. I have not attained any spiritual fruition yet, at least as a sotapan would be good. Among the most I wish to attain fruition compare to all worldliness enjoyment or celestial enjoyment.
我问自己为什么我害怕死亡。显然，我担心我必须再次经历轮回。我必须重生为人后。要学许多事物，面对人生许多种挫折，重新谋生。还是我会重生为人类，或者我会重生为幽灵/皮塔或地狱生物。更多的痛苦和迷失了自己。我还没有获得任何证果至少证得一个sotapan初果来说是件我想的非常好的事。比起享受所有世俗的快乐或天上的享受相比，我最想实现的就是证得佛陀所说的初果/一果，二果，三果或阿罗汉。
This morning, I woke up and did my meditation, it was so good 😊 . I was able to observe my fear. A fear suddenly came and I observed it, it went off. Fear is just a sensation that comes up in my heart, it has the feeling of hollowness, cool, sinking my heart. Reflected fear is just so familiar, such sensation has been coming on and on in my daily life but I failed to observed it. Today meditation I am able to see it arises and disappears. What amazing feeling I had towards fear. Actually, it does not sound bad at all. It is just not a pleasant sensation.
今天早上，我醒来并进行了打坐，真是太好了。我能够观察到我的恐惧。恐惧突然升起，我观察到它消失了。恐惧只是一种在我心中浮现的感觉，它具有空洞，凉凉的感觉，使我的心沉没。反映恐惧的感觉是如此的熟悉，这种感觉在我的日常生活中不断出现，但我没有观察到。今天，我能够看从静坐，看到它的产生和消失。看来恐惧不可怕，是我想象得严重了。实际上，这恐惧一点也不坏。这只是一种不愉快的感觉。
Will I able to face my fear again, I think yes. Because I knew how it feels like. It is not scaring at all. It just gives you a sense of lost. It just runaway when you are observing it. No reaction for such sensation, it went off.
Thank you my teacher – meditation.
Happy meditation to you all.
Mindfulness 